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The Glitter Sores Will Heal Themselves [entries|friends|calendar]
All the Tears We Have Cried

[ website | Maintainer's Journal ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[ Sunday | February 26th, 2006 | 12:33am ]

Hi, I'm Linzi.

I joined this community today.
I have dealt with anorexia, bulimia, anxiety, depression, ocd, & self harm.

I just wanted to let everyone know i recovered

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Vent [ Thursday | December 29th, 2005 | 3:59am ]

I hate my little sister. She is such a bitch. She gets everything she wants. I mean, seriously, I'm the older sister. What's up with that? She thinks she is G-d and should be treated as such. She doesn't care about anyone but herself and expects everyone to do things for her. She doesn't care about my feelings or anyone else's feelings. She never helps around the house and she is the most selfish, self-centered, concieted person I know. She never helps me. She calls me names 24/7 and tells me that I have no friends and that I am stupid. I don't understand why she is so mean. I feel responsible in a way because I kind of helped raise her. Ya know, older sisters are role models for their younger sisters. I feel that I must not have taught her that other people matter and that all people should be treated fairly. I don't understand why she is so mean. My parents let her do whatever she wants. I'm 16, and she's 14, but she has a lock on her door, a tv in her room and a computer with internet in her room. I have none of those. I don't even have internet on my computer which is in the same room with my parent's computer. She has friends sleep over every night and she watches tv until all hours of the morning. She's always on her computer and I never get to go on the computer. And I deal, but no one really cares. My dad figures that since I'm dealing well without having a computer that obviously I don't need a computer. And if I bitch about not having a computer I just get it taken away for longer. I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't. My parents moved my sister into a bigger room and gave her the computer that my sister and I shared. My parents promised me that it wasn't a punishment for me and that I would get my own computer and would have internet on it. This was all 7 months ago. My computer has so much of my dad's music collection on it that it will hardly function and it makes using iTunes on it a pain in the ass. My dad makes half ass 'attempts' to fix it, but gives up and doesn't really care. I have to ask to use my parents computer and since my parents are both journalists, I rarely am able to use it. It just really bugs me that my sister is treated so much better than I feel that I am. I mean, I understand that I can be a bitch sometime, but I've really improved over the last year. I've stopped hurting myself for the most part, apart from the occasional bruising. I feel like I don't really have much to be happy about in life. I've been working all week, and I worked all summer and my sister does nothing. I work hard in school and try my best and my sister doesn't. I go to a private school and my dad is always threatening that he'll put me in public school if I don't do well enough. I got all A's and B's last year, so I don't know what he really wants me to get this year. I made some really nice friends. I met the guys online. One of them like four years ago, and the other two probably six months ago. They are all really nice and we started talking on the phone. My parents found out and took my phone away. Now, they won't let me talk to them. It's really unfair. I wasn't doing anything sexual with them and I just really enjoyed talking to them. They helped calm me down and make me feel happy. Now, I don't have them anymore. My dad is abusive. Mostly verbal, sometimes physical. I'm alwlays the one that stands up for my mom, sister and dog. My sister has probably stood up for me 5 times in the last 14 years. My mom tries to stand up for me sometimes but she is afraid of my dad. She is afraid of losing him. He has been unemployed for five years now. My mom just doesn't want to give up on him. He makes me feel like shit and treats me like shit. School is okay for the most part, I don't have too many friends though and I'm pretty shy and self conscience. I wear a sweat shirt to school everyday. I used to be pretty skinny, I was even kind of anorexic for a while but when I gave up cutting and stuff, I started eating. Now, I'm fat and ugly. I'm afraid to weigh myself. I probably weigh about 180 lbs now, I'm 5'2". I feel so gross. I wish I could go back in time. I'm very uncomfortable with myself, physically, mentally and emotionally. I live life as best as I can though. I'm going to go to bed now because family friends are arriving tomorrow.

If anyone actually read even part of this. Thank you. I hope I haven't depressed you. If you have any comments, support, or advice, please leave me a comment. Good night and stay safe.
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[ Friday | September 30th, 2005 | 11:07pm ]

A little confused here. Some guy just called me and told me he meet me on a livejournal cutting community. Somehow he knew my number. He called restricted and left a number which is the number to a local radio station. If this was you or you know who it was, leave a message. Or if you have any ideas to find out who it was. I don't know how he could have gotten my phone number.


Oh and three months cut-free and going strong!!
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xposted all around. Please Read [ Saturday | August 20th, 2005 | 9:54pm ]

I found this floating around various places, I dont know if it has been posted before, but I thought you guys might like it.

Think About ThisCollapse )
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[ Tuesday | August 9th, 2005 | 8:35pm ]

would anyone be willing to or like to take over this community for me? ♥ El.
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[ Sunday | July 24th, 2005 | 12:56am ]

Back for a minute, ya'll. Been alright. Confused, as always. I'm hoping everyone's doing okay and enjoying summer... :/ Anyway, I was wondering if anyone knows how to get rid of that hideous fat between your thighs. X___X Ick. ♥ ♥ ♥ STAYSAFE! El.
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[ Sunday | July 17th, 2005 | 9:06pm ]

Keep this place under control for awhile, you guys. ♥ I'll be back whenever.
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[ Saturday | July 9th, 2005 | 9:31pm ]

How is everyone?
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[ Wednesday | June 22nd, 2005 | 8:34pm ]
[ mood | okay ]

Well I thought I would enjoy today, becuase my mom left me home all by myself. Instead I hated it. I wasn't able to call any of my friends, becasue my mom had mine and her cell phone disconnected,  and I'm not allowed to call long distance on home the home phone, so I was very lonely today.I have been on the computer all day. Well I atleast I didn't cut. Anyways lately I have been having extreme stochache pain. I don't know why but it makes me feel sick to my stomache. Could be, becasue of my lack of eating.

Promo under cutCollapse )

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[ Tuesday | June 21st, 2005 | 11:36am ]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I was talking to my friend Justin last night a he told me that things where I used to live have changed so much. People are now only taling to people with the same labels a them(ie: Preps, cheer leader, jocks, skaters, ect). And he is all worried about what people will think about me if I start to hang out wiht him and his friends. I'm a Prep he's a skater. I keep telling him I don't care what people will think of me, becuase he is my friend. He just won't leave the topic alone. He says things like..."well if you don't talk to me in school, I'll understand" and stupid shit like that. god he is so hard something to get thought to.

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[ Sunday | June 19th, 2005 | 10:35pm ]


Please check it out before you go on your fasts...
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I'll Write Sincerely Yours and Sign my Name [ Thursday | June 16th, 2005 | 12:15pm ]

The falls you have shouldn't matter. What matters is how you stand up from your falls. I know that I, personally, get up one hundred percent wrong. But that doesn't mean that everyone else should too. Ya'll should learn from your mistakes and remember that nothing just HAPPENS. There's a purpose to everything. Every flaw and every perfection. So, don't get so down on yourselves all the time. There's at least one great thing about everyone. Sometimes you, yourself, can't see it, but others can and will. Please, everyone... Perk up. :/ *hugs and kisses*

♥ ♥ ♥,
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[ Wednesday | June 15th, 2005 | 8:50pm ]
[ mood | numb ]

I hate my life. I'm failing school, my mom and I never get along, my dad is in the hostpial, I probably failed my math exam, my friends suck, and I could keeo going. It is summer and I have so many problems right now and I'm trying not to cut. Things are probably going to get worse when I tell my Best guy friend thta I cut. He'll be the first person I ever tell this to, whic makes me really nervous. I really wish things could go my way for once.

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[ Monday | June 13th, 2005 | 11:18pm ]

May be TriggeringCollapse )
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[ Wednesday | June 8th, 2005 | 11:43pm ]

So, I'm going to summer camp for two weeks with some of my friends and you can like request people you know. But you can only have three people in you cabin and five, including myself, are going. Sadly enough, I don't think anyone requested me. :/ Oh well, I guess. I atleast get to get away from home... *sigh*

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[ Sunday | June 5th, 2005 | 3:32pm ]


The skin,
My promise,

Five times because I was sad.
Nothing life changing happened,
except my heart broke.

Sorry I'm writing like this...
It just helps me vent more.

I ♥ ya'll!

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[ Tuesday | May 31st, 2005 | 10:22pm ]

Ick. Only four more days until I graduate and it can't seem to go fast enough. I've been good for god knows how long and it feels pretty damn good. I hope everyone here is staying safe!! ♥
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Hello. [ Sunday | May 29th, 2005 | 12:46am ]

[ mood | predatory ]

I'm new here.
If you haven't guessed. Anyway, my icon sucks ass, I know.
So, erm, you guys want to know more about me? Well, my real name is Sadie. I'd prefer you call me Seth however. Or Seahd, if you don't wish to get so informal.
If you didn't guess, I cut. And I also punch myself so I get bruises. I tend to get really violent and angry at times and I enjoy venting a lot. My journal is a good idea of my vents.

Well, I'll write later?

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A little girl... [ Friday | May 27th, 2005 | 3:21pm ]

Have you ever thought about this way?
There is a girl inside you, somewhere near your heart. I don’t know her name… Call her whatever you want, because… this little girl belongs to you.
I don’t know how she looks like. Close your eyes, and picture her. Look into her deep and deploring eyes. You can picture her however you want, because… this little girl belongs to you.
Sometimes, when you are sad, she becomes sad as well. You hear her suppressed sobs echoing through your body, you feel her painful moans in every inch of your body… You hear her and you feel her heart skipping beats, because… this little girl belongs to you.
Sometimes, when you are sad, she whispers gently, “Cut”, her coy voice ringing in her ears. It is the softness and tenderness of her voice that makes you pick up the blade. You hear her, because… this little girl belongs to you.
When you pick up the blade and it caresses your skin, you hear the girl moan in ecstasy. She touches your hear, her little fingers gently stroking every little crease of your heart. She pinches your heart, oh so soothingly, oh so lovingly. She kisses your heart, and then breathes her hot breath on it, and you feel your heart tingling. And you, too, now quietly moan in ecstasy, in the luxurious indulgence that you allow yourself. And you understand that you belong to the little girl.

x-posted to trigger happy
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Hello my name is Shannon... [ Tuesday | May 17th, 2005 | 4:26pm ]

[ mood | depressed ]

I am new to this community and hope that it will be helpful. I am recovering from depression, I used to do other things but I have found other releases for that. I am confused, lonely, upset and worrisome. The following is a rant, and you don't have to read it. I don't know if it will be considered a trigger, mostly because I don't really know what a trigger is. I haven't heard that ever in this kind of context.


Me ventingCollapse )

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